Happiness has been in the news today and I have written about it over at
CoreEcon. But it also appeared in a
recent issue of The Economist in relation to whether children make you happy.
IN EVERY nursery there is one child known as the Biter. Who suffers the most from this child's delinquency? Not his classmates, whose bite marks quickly heal. It is the Biter's mum and dad, who endure sideways glances from other parents when dropping him off in the morning and fret constantly that their own poor parenting has produced a monster.
Arthur Brooks was once the father of a Biter. For a year, his son gnawed on boys, girls, siblings, friends and so many guests that he had to be removed from his own fourth birthday party. Mr Brooks worried, argued with his wife, lost sleep and sought professional help. So he speaks from experience when he says that having children does not make you happy.
Happily for the reader, his book, “Gross National Happiness”, is not a memoir. It is a subtle and engaging distillation of oceans of data. When researchers ask parents what they enjoy, it turns out that they prefer almost anything to looking after their children. Eating, shopping, exercising, cooking, praying and watching television were all rated more pleasurable than watching the brats, even if they don't bite. As Mr Brooks puts it: “There are many things in a parent's life that bring great joy. For example, spending time away from [one's] children.”
Despite this, American parents are much more likely to be happy than non-parents. This is for two reasons, argues Mr Brooks, an economist at Syracuse University. Even if children are irksome now, they lend meaning to life in the long term. And the kind of people who are happy are also more likely to have children.
I must admit, I can believe that there exist children out there, who in retrospect, don't make their parents happy. And Brooks is right, I'd rather have my kid bitten than having them bite. But, in day to day life, I must also admit that it is the conceptual "idea of a child" that makes me happy as opposed to what they happen to be doing at that moment. In any case, is happiness really the goal here? All these issues are too philosophical for a blog post but I thought I'd at least share the link.
Despite this, American parents are much more likely to be happy than non-parents.
ReplyDeleteSays who? Not most of the other statistics. Mary Benin's 2000 longitudinal study of 6785 couples over 20+ years showed that "most marriages with children become less happy when the first baby is born, and don't resume the same level of happiness till children are over eighteen. Also, the turbulent teen years can bring much stress and further complicate a marriage. However, another study indicated that the highest incidence of divorce occurs after the birth of the first child; and having a baby rarely stabilizes a shaky marriage. But Benin concluded that, "Childless spouses are as happy as couples are before babies arrive. Without the buffeting cycles of child rearing, they tend to stabilize at this high level over time."
The Social & Economic Research in Colchester, England, surveyed nearly 4000 couples between 1996 and 2003 and found having children makes men less satisfied with their life, while women only enjoy motherhood once their offspring are packed off to school.
Pew Research says children are no longer perceived as vital to a happy marriage.
Not being a childfree propagandist, just noting that the studies I've read aren't living up to that rosy picture.
I think you're right about happiness not being the point. Maybe 'satisfying' or 'fulfilling'. You might as well go ahead and use the word 'taller'. Yes, having kids makes you seem taller, but that's not really the point, (not to mention fleeting).
ReplyDeleteThere's a difference between happiness in your life and happiness in a particular activity. Indeed, it sounds like this survey is asking people to be selfish: what would you rather do? Watch the game; mow the yard; play golf; wash the car; play poker; or watch your kids? At any given time I would choose almost any other activity (save clean the house) over watching my kids. (And I have good kids!) But that's me being selfish in the short term. In choosing between the alternatives above, I know what to expect out of most activities. But watching my kids, it could be anywhere from double-meltdown pure hell to mildly enjoyable (though not usually intellectually stimulating) interaction. In most people's utility functions, I'd say "certainty of pleasure" weighs heavily on their short-term decision making. There is little certainty of pleasure in watching the kids.
ReplyDeleteBut in the long-term, raising kids is extraordinarily rewarding and is a significant source of pride. Some people say, "I can't imagine not having kids." I don't agree--I can imagine it. And sometimes, when I'd rather be doing something else than having to consider what my kids need, I wish it were me. But when I see peer couples who don't have kids, I wouldn't want to permanently trade places with them because I know the fulfillment I get--and will continue to receive--outweighs the short-term flexibility that I would have without them.
When it comes to whether parents or the childfree are happier, anyone can find a study that suits his or her philosophy. For example, the Colchester study seems to find that at least for men, children make them less satisfied. On the other hand, a study last year in the American Journal of Public Health found parents to have fewer psychological problems than non-parents. One consistent difference is that people with children are less likely than those without them to commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteRegarding divorce and children, studies in almost every society find that childless couples are more likely to divorce. Of course this is not a reason to have a child to save a cracking marriage -something that in the end is unfair to the child.
I'd love to see Mary Benin's original study and find out what it really said.
Emilia (emilia_e_murphy@yahoo.ca)
Actually, I looked at the original Colchester study (and even contacted the author) and found that in no place did it say that childless men were happier than those with children - but nor were they less happy. The report said the presence of children did not increase men's life satisfaction, but nor did it decrease it. As for the statement "women only enjoy motherhood once their offspring are packed off to school" (which does occupy a substantial time period of women's lives), nowhere does the report state that women with children of any age are more unhappy with those without them.
ReplyDeleteI think the childfree propagandists are trying to mold this study to suit their own agenda.
Note: even if the report were to unambiguously state that parents were happier than childless people, that's not a reason for a depressed person to reproduce as a way to bring happiness to their lives.
Emilia again
Here is a study the childfree propagandists might want to consider:
ReplyDeleteMental health and quality of life after genetic testing for Huntington disease: a long-term effect study in Germany.Licklederer C, Wolff G, Barth J.
Department of Rehabilitation Psychology, University of Freiburg, Freiburg, Germany.
Predictive genetic testing for Huntington disease (HD) might cause severe short-term psychological reactions in patients with poor mental health. Very few studies exist on the long-term effects of genetic HD testing. The aim of this study was to assess mental health and quality of life in persons who were tested for HD mutation, to compare mental health depending on the result of the genetic test (non-carriers, gene carriers, and patients with HD) and to identify predictors of mental health and quality of life via linear regression. The data were collected by self-report questionnaires. In total, 121 individuals participated in this study: 52 were non-carriers, 54 were gene carriers, and 15 were gene carriers suffering from HD. Non-carriers and gene carriers showed better mental health and quality of life than HD-patients but did not differ from each other. In non-carriers four variables predicted increased depression and low mental quality of life: low perceived social support, no intimate relationship, female sex and younger age. For gene carriers three predictors were found: low perceived social support, the expectation of an unfavorable genetic test result before the testing procedure and being childless. To prevent detrimental effects of HD testing on mental health and mental quality of life, specific attention should be paid to persons with limited social networks during genetic counseling. Assessment of expectations related to the test result and mental health prior to a genetic testing procedure may help to identify gene carriers at risk of poor coping after an unfavorable test result. Copyright 2008 Wiley-Liss, Inc.
I have a creeping feeling that the organized childfree movement is a bit of a cult in how they ignore or distort scientific findings.
Emilia